Wish Your Resolutions Could Work for The Whole Year Rather Than Just the New Year?
Do you still want to make real changes in your life? If you’ve tried and failed there is probably more than one thing to give up.
For the new year I wrote about framing your resolution in a positive way so you are gaining something rather than giving it up. For example, swapping chocolate/alcohol for a healthy lifestyle. The focus should be on the positive and forget about trying to give something up. This is still valid but there can be more to the story. Instead of just giving up chocolate (or anything) there is likely to be a hidden belief that you have to give up first.
Before you dismiss this notion think about how our brains work. Their number one objective is to keep us safe and everything else is secondary. This is your reptilian brain and is located in your brainstem. If any danger is present, this part of the brain takes over and suppresses the other less important parts. It is not just real danger, but any imagined threat will trigger the well-known stress response.
So why is giving up chocolate triggering my stress response? The phrase comfort eating sums it up pretty accurately. When we eat chocolate it makes us feel better and takes our mind off the conscious or sub-conscious fear. The same applies to alcohol, nail biting and many other habitual behaviours. So, to give up chocolate etc you need to give up that fear.
You may reason that you didn’t give up chocolate for more than a few days because you actually like chocolate, chocolate is good for you, chocolate makes you more attractive, resolutions are a gimmick and you could give up chocolate if you really wanted to or many other excuses. Your subconscious is endlessly creative at finding ways to protect you. If it believes there is a threat it will undermine any attempt you make to enter that dangerous chocolate free world! If you don’t believe me look back at the reasons you came up with to give up your earnest resolutions. I’m sure they were pretty creative.
So how do you give up a belief that is hidden and you never knew existed?
The first stage is to be aware that it exists and then you can start to look for it. This belief may have formed recently or many years before and triggered by later events. This belief makes us stressed, anxious or generally feel uneasy.
I help people uncover their beliefs using hypnosis, but you can start to work them out for yourself. Try again to give up chocolate and when you are tempted, take a pause, and observe what you are feeling. Experiment. Does that feeling go away when you have had some chocolate? Notice if you get that feeling at any other time. Ask yourself if there is a link between these times when you have that feeling. What are you afraid of at that time? Where does this fear stem? Is this fear still valid? How can you see it differently? It may take some time to work this out or you may have a sudden insight but stop the fear and your need for chocolate will just disappear as though it never existed. You will have finally made a permanent resolution.